| A Fond Farewell |
[19 Apr, 2008] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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modest mouse - float on<3 |
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So as long as I've hated this livejournal name I finally did something about it and made a new one and dammit if livejournal didn't
keep the basic livejournal account-- Plus and Paid anyway so there's ads all over my page meaning any html I've set up for my livejournal won't work-- had to do a custom css for it and it sucked. It was hard figuring it out >.>
But, regardless, I don't know what security settings this one has but I have another now that I'll continue updating on and it's not friends only, it's for everybody to see and whatnot, blahblah aaaaaaand this shall be the end of this livejournal.
G'bye all!
New = dribean.livejournal.com
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| I'd Swim Out To You In The Ocean... |
[12 Apr, 2008] |
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mood |
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 relieved |
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music |
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the Sims =D -- so relaxingg ^-^; |
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Well, I feel great and wonderful and amazing and just.. fucking FANTASTIC ^-^
Things haven't started speeding up at all.. everything's still at a stand still, actually, but.. I feel really good about everything and about life, and even about myself. Even more so than last time I posted- I don't just feel optimistic, I feel.. good. Though, finding a job is a real bitch. Well, it's a bitch to find a job that has pay enough to live and survive on my own with another person, that is. But I'm putting everything I have into getting one now.
I've spent the past three days or so caged up in my mind-- I've been very inwardly temperamental (and kinda outwardly, too, I guess), and I can't even begin to count the amount of things I've been thinking about and even worried about. But right now I feel amazing; thanks to Jeremy, actually.
I hadn't confronted him with half of the things I was concerned with because they aren't real problems or anything that I can even talk about with anybody.. just things I had been contemplating and even things I was dreaming about. But for some uncanny reason, after having had some random conversation with Jeremy about completely different topics and just our day to day chatter, I feel.. liberated from my own self. Which hasn't happened before- not for real. A lot of things are going to change and a lot of things are going to be so much better. The amazing relationship that I have with an amazing man is just going to be that much better and my personal life is going to be just as increasingly well. :)
While driving around running errands earlier today I had thought about some of the things that Jeremy and I had conversed about about a week ago and I altered a theory that he had made about himself. I cam to the realization earlier that ever since leaving high school I've become a very bland- and almost routinely boring- adult. I don't do nearly half the things that I used to do.. as a matter of fact, I don't really do anything at all.... I'm still young and I should still be having a crapload of fun every single day and every single night.
I've been sitting alone in my room for a few hours now just listening to music that I haven't listened to in months and I've been playing WoW and I've just been.. relaxing. Enjoying myself. It's fucking great!
Yes, by the way, I'm in my room.. I'm actually at my mother's house */shock* I know I'm astonished, too. Arrived at my mother's house at about 9 o'clock earlier tonight and I'm leaving the house again at about noon tomorrow to come back here Sunday evening? Yeah.. it's like shampoo directions, really- in regards to my pattern of when I'm here and when I'm not, that is. The "lather, rinse, repeat" idea. I come home in the afternoon. I leave the next day's evening. Sleep over Jeremy's for a night to three nights- possibly stop by my mother's to pick up more things. Come home sometime in the afternoon. And, as you see, the process has started over again :3.
Well.. there are a couple different factors as to why I've been so.. plain. I know two of them for a flat out fact: 1.) I practically live in the family room of Jeremy's parent's apartment. Not having our own room is really hindering to a lot of things, to be honest, and the fact that I spend almost every single day and night of my life there... well, it's self-explanatory. Given, my computer comes with me virtually every single time so there's always something to do- but most of the time, it's just not enough. This brings me to point 2.) It's been winter. I fucking hate winter, for starters. But.. there hasn't been any real chance to go outside and do things. I've had my window opened while I've been chilling on my bed doing the music and WoW thing and the scent of spring and the chill breeze is making me feel amazingly refreshed and my mood rose like crazy after just a few minutes.
Going to the gym is great, too. I've only been highly dedicated for the past twoish weeks, even though I've only been signed up for a month and a week, but I'm enjoying myself increasingly every time I go. It's a lot easier to go more often now that my muscles can take a little bit more of a beating than when I started going- I'm so horridly out of shape but I'm getting better at what I consider to be a really good rate. I didn't think my body would have that hard of a time, though, getting back into shape- I've never been out of shape in my life until I graduated high school and started being a pile of mushy, lazy bore.
It'd be nice, also, if William Fabrizio wasn't M.I.A. I'd really like to contact him and spend time with him again.
But.. all in all.. doing all of these different things make me feel really good about myself and are making my moods the way they used to be. I don't just feel like I'm enjoying the minutes and the days that pass by, I don't feel like I'm being optimistic about everything. And I never even realized how.. not good that is to do. I'm at a point now.. where I'm really just looking forward to tomorrow and the next week and all the things that are to follow. I'm really enjoying myself and I don't feel "optimistic". I just feel really good about it all.
=)
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| Justice League Movie |
[29 Mar, 2008] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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It's been quite a long time since I've actually updated and I felt a need to do so because it's been so long.
Had to quit RadioShack because my manager was the biggest douche bag and because I was spending more money on food and gas (aka my survival) than my paychecks were giving me. RadioShack is a decent job, but not in North Haven-- commission sucks if you have the wrong customers and a shitty store. It's almost impossible to hit the commission point. North Haven's profit for the month of January was negative 5 dollars, and it hasn't really gone up at all since.
As far as getting an apartment, things are progressing at a slow rate. Of course, having been unemployed for a few weeks isn't helping much and it just sucks balls, too. I seem to be a bit more depressed as of late and have been suffering really bad insomnia all of which I can only assume is my being unemployed seeing as it started at around the same time /shrugs.RadioShack seems to work out for Jeremy a lot better than for me seeing as Wallingford is a lot bigger and has better, younger, more-willing-to-buy-things customers. So all that's really left is for me and Will to get jobs that have at least decent management and actually give us more money than our bills ask of us and everything will be progressing well.
Another week or so and I should have my tax return and the stimulus payment in a few months will be a great little treat, too ^-^
I really feel that in about a month everything right now will be an amazing amount better and everything will have gone a long way really quickly.
PS - I smell bad and need to take a shower now. =3 Also, I play WoW waaayyy too much for my own good, but I can't help it. ^-^;
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[1 Feb, 2008] |
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mood |
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 .. |
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music |
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30 Seconds - From Yesterday<33 |
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/sigh
Well, I have an AMAZING computer now ((with the exception of needing to buy a new video card and I still need a new monitor)) but the card I have doesn't stop me from playing really great games, so YEAY NEW COMPUTER!! And YEAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT!!
Umm... yeah, so new computer's good and I LOVE my job @ North Haven RadioShack. The guys I work with are great-- training's kinda meh. I start talking to customers today on the floor which I'm not looking forward to because after some roleplaying apparently I suck. Due to being paid commission, there's this huge, important list of shit that we have to do and in a certain order and we can't really answer questions for customers, we're supposed to ask THEM all the questions and tell THEM what THEY want. So, yeah... work on that today XP
Things are going really quite well for me and I acknowledge that, but... /sigh I just feel a lot of negativity about the way my life is right now...
A LOT.
And I feel that I'm honestly depressed a lot of the time.. I just feel upset, and nostalgic, I feel very "what if i had", and I'm also always in a lot of physical pain when I feel like that... and it all makes me not want to do anything but loaf around when I'm not at work. I don't know..
But I'm REALLY not going to get into it...
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[20 Jan, 2008] |
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mood |
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 weeeee!!! |
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music |
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thong song♥ |
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So I got hired at RadioShack in North Haven. I start whenever the papers go through-- hopefully Monday next week =)
I work commission and I was hired so in a few months I can be... an assistant manager, so to speak.
I work automatic full-time and I get benefits of sorts in 3 months and this and that and it's kinda complicated because I just got hired yesterday and was handed a pile of papers bigger than my ass to fill out and read T.T
According to my new-soon-to-be-co-worker Will, I'm now the smartest person that works in that RadioShack due to my knowledge of computers that Jeremy has given me XD
Speaking of which, it's his first day of work today ^-^ Just got off the phone with him-- shall be seeing him whenever he gets out in a few hours ^-^
My motherboard and processor will be here tomorrow or wednesday so I'm pumped =D I'll have a brand new computer by the end of the week, a brand new wide/flat screen monitor sometime in the next 2 to 3 weeks =D And I'll be able to play WoW WHENEVER I fucking want to instead of trying to play on Jer's dad's computer with free trials and shit T.T
My dad still owes me, like.. 220 dollars from when I bought my car and had to pay for HIS taxes.
Me and Jeremy are SOOOOO going to be moving out in, like.. a month. We have references, we have places in mind, and we'll sooo get by amazingly well<3
And I'm fucking pumped!!!
Update again tomorrow or wednesday to exclaim about my computer ^-^
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[17 Jan, 2008] |
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mood |
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 I'm In Love... ♥ |
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Things are really, really, REALLY starting to get better every second :)
My new motherboard and processor will be here by wednesday
My new flat/widescreen LCD wonderful 19" monitor will be here by wednesday
Valentine's Day is coming up♥
My birthday's coming up♥
And I'm getting the most amazing thing for my birthday!!
Finally found jobs-- not me, exactly, though, I still have to go to my interview
But, regardless, we'll be out in, like.. a MONTH!!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well, I'm going to go eat breakfast now and enjoy the house whilst NOBODY is homeee ^-^
Update next time something amazing happenssss ^^
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| I Don't Really Feel So Great... |
[13 Jan, 2008] |
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mood |
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!#?*@$& |
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music |
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The Scientist - Wicker Park ♥ |
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I don't like how things have been going at all...
I need to get out of this house for multiple and obvious reasons. I need to be able to stand on my own feet again and I need to get all this pressure to go away.. the pressure of the knowledge that I need to leave and the pressure being put on my by my mother to leave this house...
I need to find a job and fuck at this time of the year it's hard.. I regret losing my job at UPS a LOT. I really loved that job and I got great hours and pay that was ABOVE minimum wage... I just couldn't believe the things that Jim had said to me and I'm sick of all the shit there and accusations and bullshit...
But looking for another job is so fucking ridiculous-- and I haven't even been giving it my all. I've been lounging about, playing around, relaxing, sleeping, and absolutely barely trying to do ANYTHING. =(
I tried to find a job harder when I HAD a job and wanted to change jobs than now when I NEED one. I'm in debt, my mother might make me start paying for my insurance BEFORE I leave, and I need to get a fucking apartment >.< And get caught up in my bills and just.. fuck !!
All this is so fucking stressful and I don't know what the hell to do about anything because I need a fucking JOB to do anythinggggg
And I understand my sister's a bitch, but, I can't take her anymore... I love my sister because we get along often.. we often play games together.. I think she's fucking retarded a lot of the time, makes stupid decisions in friends and bitches rather than ditches, and she's really thick and gets bitchy about stupid things sometimes... we get in HORRIBLE fights because that's what siblings do-- they FIGHT. Whatever... after fighting with her I don't care, because it's what we've done for 19 years, we're just siblings....
But, apparently, I've fucking done something wrong >.<
Ever since she came back from school, she's had some fucking problem with me... If I mention that I'm going to see Jer or say that I need to the phone to call Jer or ANYTHING involving him, she gets a bitchy attitude, pissed off, turns, walks away, and ignores me.... and now for the past 4 weeks, maybe 5, we're to the point where when I wake up in the morning and I walk past her room and say Good Morning all happy and shit she just groans or ignores me and she doesn't even fucking look at me...
I'm sick of being lonely.. and I'm sick of having friends that are ridiculous amounts of fucking busy whether is true busy or bullshit. God knows I love him and want to spend shitloads of time with him, but DAMMIT I need somebody to hang out with OTHER than Jeremy >.<
I need a fucking friend or fucking... just.. ANYTHING to DO... /sigh
I'm just fucking sick of feeling this way........
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[10 Jan, 2008] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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it's 2 in the morning... i hear NOTHING >. |
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Yeay for more Sailor Moon!!!
W007 to Valentine's Day themeeeeeeee
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[6 Jan, 2008] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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The fear is a little unbearable.
That thought- that sticks out in my mind- tears me up inside.
Rips my heart out, and kills me inside over and over and over again...
The stress is annoying, though deteriorating.
I kinda don't know what to do with myself but to continue enjoying every moment of my days.
And I do.
The future doesn't matter right now. Nor does the past.
Smiling is always the way to go♥
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| What the fuck?! |
[5 Jan, 2008] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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music |
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Final Fanasy VIII -- hellz yeah |
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I just posted an entire fucking entry and clicked post.
It came up with generic, your entry has been posted sign.
I went to check because I have frigging OCD.
It's not fucking here.
NFUEWGHUKQEWGHEW XOOOOO FUCK.
Anyway... it's simple. I'll put it in bullets this time::
× Lost my job due to my moving to Virginia
× Plans changed and we all come home to CT
× Spoke to Jim on Wednesday and due to certain things I decided to refuse my job back
× I got on a train last Saturday @ 9 am and sat in it for 9 hours before arriving in Richmond where I met Jeremy who had previously driven 3 hours to get from Roanoke to there. I had a cold at this point since the previous Thursday.
× Just realized it's time to change my LJ theme.. YEAY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!
× From there:: FUCKING ROAD TRIP!!!! For the next... 15, 20 hours or so-- don't feel much like doing the math =P
× Arrived in CT early Sunday morning, arrived at his house at around 9ish =P
× Was frustrated that I was so awake after 24 hours of traveling and little sleep-- It was either 3 hours of sleep that we got =P-- and whilst being frustrated and watching Jer and his dad play PS3... I passed the fuck out on his couch XD
× My mother had the stomach flu for a few days and a horrible fever.. my cold by now had turned into a fever also.
× Because of my fever through Tuesday and Jeremy catching it on Wednesday and because my mother's sickness, and because I just hate it at this house, I just slept over. Didn't come back home until around midnight last night.
× My computer's a piece and until I get another job (which HAS to be asap) I can't build another computer so I'm going to go eat breakfast now then head on over to Jeremy's house to play WoW with him.
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| We Make It All Better.... |
[13 Nov, 2007] |
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mood |
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♥♥ |
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music |
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yeay Winamp playlisttttttttt |
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It's the butterflies I still feel when I'm with you.. when I talk to you, think of you. Thinking of the future... our future...... Our futures are soon going to be one in the same.... and that makes me ecstatic. Just like the week I stayed at your house, I'll wake up in the mornings to see you next to me, and there's no bliss in the world greater than that.... except by then it won't be just a week- it's forever.
Thinking of the future gives me butterflies.. makes me nervous but excited. Christmas is so close and no longer will we ever have to be apart again. 2008 is going to be an amazing year-- the first in the rest of forever that we're spending together, and there's nothing in the world that I want more than that. No amount of anything in the entire universe could get me to give that up.
Soon-- I'll be able to look into your eyes whenever I want and not just call you to hear your voice :)
We'll be able to spend Monday mornings cuddling all morning-- yeay days off :)
I'll be able to cook you breakfast ((maybe not pancakes, but pizza rolls =P)) whenever I want♥
You make everything about life that much more amazing and you're worth more to me than anything in the world. There is nothing as amazing and as perfect as us. We can do anything- be anything.
And I chance to do so is finally here.
I treasure us and the moment we're back together again above anything I've ever treasured before.
I Love You.♥
EDIT:: I fucking love this girl ((and, no, I don't expect anybody to read this XDD)) Merely saving it for my precious memories =) ::
supah vixxen (8:45:36 AM): you love me x dripee (8:46:17 PM): -'-'- x dripee (8:46:19 PM): yes x dripee (8:46:23 PM): always <3 supah vixxen (8:45:50 AM):  supah vixxen (8:46:07 AM): why do i get the feeling that as soon as we're alone you're going to jump me? x dripee (8:46:48 PM): hahahahaha supah vixxen (8:46:15 AM): lmao supah vixxen (8:46:18 AM): i'm just like
supah vixxen (8:46:26 AM): "hmm... what the heck is she going to do to me?" x dripee (8:46:41 PM): I remember how excited I was to meet you =P x dripee (8:46:44 PM): Wayyy back when supah vixxen (8:46:08 AM): hahahaha supah vixxen (8:46:11 AM): i know me too! x dripee (8:47:01 PM): then we had really bad food together!x dripee (8:47:09 PM): and sung awesome songs! supah vixxen (8:46:33 AM): lmfao omg the horrible food x dripee (8:47:13 PM): and tried to hit on random boys! x dripee (8:47:16 PM): random to me, at least supah vixxen (8:46:40 AM): and singing grease lightning and other stuff x dripee (8:47:20 PM): hahahaha
x dripee (8:47:28 PM): and ay, ay, ay ay
x dripee (8:47:31 PM): canta y no llores supah vixxen (8:46:47 AM): OMG YEA YOU HIT ON MY FRIEND CHRISTIAN supah vixxen (8:46:53 AM): whom i still see occasionally supah vixxen (8:46:54 AM):  x dripee (8:47:42 PM): lol x dripee (8:47:45 PM): that's cute XD x dripee (8:47:51 PM): did i really hit on him? x dripee (8:47:56 PM): I'm trying to remember what I said to him =P supah vixxen (8:47:43 AM): in fact, i just saw him like, not last friday, but the friday before supah vixxen (8:47:51 AM): and two weeks before that x dripee (8:48:30 PM): i can't see his pictures ;.; supah vixxen (8:47:55 AM): aw x dripee (8:48:33 PM): but man x dripee (8:48:34 PM): he looks hots x dripee (8:48:36 PM): hot* x dripee (8:50:22 PM): not as hot as when his face is smaller, but x dripee (8:50:25 PM): oh baby supah vixxen (8:49:49 AM): hahahaha i know x dripee (8:50:28 PM): lol supah vixxen (8:49:53 AM): he's a doof supah vixxen (8:50:16 AM): he used to call me the a crazy goth girl supah vixxen (8:50:19 AM): wayyy back in the day x dripee (8:51:02 PM): hahahahahaha x dripee (8:51:08 PM): you? crazy goth girl? x dripee (8:51:10 PM): don't see it supah vixxen (8:50:38 AM): hahaha oh, you didn't know me back then supah vixxen (8:50:40 AM): freshman year supah vixxen (8:50:43 AM): goth slut to the max x dripee (8:51:24 PM): XDD supah vixxen (8:50:49 AM): haha supah vixxen (8:50:54 AM): i wish i had pictures supah vixxen (8:51:09 AM): for example: supah vixxen (8:51:16 AM): my favourite outfit: supah vixxen (8:51:24 AM): (from back then, obviously) supah vixxen (8:52:18 AM): white fishnet top, with a black corset, gray/black/red plaid mini skirt, black fishnets, and either my black converse, OR (and usually) my old black knee-high pleather 4 inch heel boots. supah vixxen (8:52:27 AM): and my hair was still black back then supah vixxen (8:52:36 AM): oh! and i wore a little spiked collar x dripee (8:53:13 PM): haha, niceeeee x dripee (8:53:16 PM): sounds hot to me supah vixxen (8:52:41 AM): like all the time supah vixxen (8:52:47 AM): i was sexy supah vixxen (8:52:47 AM): haha supah vixxen (8:53:00 AM): lots of eyeliner supah vixxen (8:53:12 AM): and i used to use eyeliner to darken my lipgloss supah vixxen (8:53:15 AM): so it was like grey supah vixxen (8:53:17 AM): and i looked sexy
x dripee (8:57:55 PM): I would have banged you.
x dripee (8:58:05 PM): We were bi back then, remember?
x dripee (8:58:07 PM): Are you still supah vixxen (8:57:50 AM): no, not really supah vixxen (8:57:51 AM): you? x dripee (8:58:33 PM): Not at all haha supah vixxen (8:57:58 AM): haha supah vixxen (8:58:09 AM): i still appreciate pretty girls but i'm not all OMG SEX x dripee (8:58:51 PM): But we were cute when we were bi and having cute almost cyber sex XD supah vixxen (8:58:18 AM): hahaha
supah vixxen (8:59:31 AM): http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=5021713&albumID=0&imageID=1675022^^and i almost dated him back when he was sexy... that's an old picture of back then... who now is ugly and almost a dad
x dripee (9:01:49 PM): AHHH THAT BOYYYY IS... EL ES MUY CALIENTEEEE
supah vixxen (9:01:18 AM): haha supah vixxen (9:01:20 AM): he's not anymore x dripee (9:02:00 PM): mis ojos es en fuega porque todo los calienteness supah vixxen (9:01:29 AM): his name is zach supah vixxen (9:01:34 AM): haha supah vixxen (9:01:43 AM): he used to be SO HOT supah vixxen (9:01:47 AM): and he like adored me supah vixxen (9:01:56 AM): and we were like __ that close to datingx dripee (9:04:10 PM): yeah, well.. if i knew him I would have been... _ THAT close to dating him!! supah vixxen (9:03:38 AM): hahaha
supah vixxen (9:02:24 AM): and then the next year, he dropped out of school supah vixxen (9:02:29 AM): went to work at a gas station supah vixxen (9:02:33 AM): knocked up his girlfriend supah vixxen (9:02:39 AM): whom is due any time now supah vixxen (9:02:44 AM): and showers like, once a month supah vixxen (9:02:47 AM): but back then supah vixxen (9:02:53 AM): ...hottie in a metal band supah vixxen (9:02:55 AM): couldn't resist x dripee (9:04:16 PM): Or maybe... _______ that close
supah vixxen (9:04:54 AM): who also turned out to be a pussy supah vixxen (9:04:56 AM): hahahahahaha supah vixxen (9:05:07 AM): whom i don't talk to now x dripee (9:05:54 PM): no me gustalo supah vixxen (9:05:21 AM): because he's so desperate to screw me, and has been since the day he met me supah vixxen (9:05:26 AM): and because i won't supah vixxen (9:05:29 AM): he won't talk to me x dripee (9:06:11 PM): haha x dripee (9:06:13 PM): i love those boys
/PERSONAL CONVERSATION CUT OUT HERE
x dripee (9:13:05 PM): Yeahhh.. I understand... but, umm.. question...
supah vixxen (9:12:31 AM): yea? x dripee (9:13:12 PM): is that him now? supah vixxen (9:12:53 AM): hahahaha, i haven't seen him in a while but that is much more recent x dripee (9:13:34 PM): EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW supah vixxen (9:13:00 AM): yeaa supah vixxen (9:13:11 AM): that's what i mean
x dripee (9:14:39 PM): What happened to him??  supah vixxen (9:14:48 AM): idk supah vixxen (9:14:52 AM): he's a daddy supah vixxen (9:14:53 AM): hahaha supah vixxen (9:14:59 AM): who doesn't shower x dripee (9:16:03 PM): lol supah vixxen (9:15:29 AM): haha x dripee (9:16:15 PM): sounds EXACTLY like somebody I know
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| Terkee Munth |
[31 Oct, 2007] |
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music |
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don't you worry about the distance; i'm right there if you get lonely♥ |
] |
AND THE CONTEMPLATION OF TURKEY MONTH LJ THEME BEGINS!!!!
.... maybe it should be him???
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| Nostalgia Ensues.... |
[29 Oct, 2007] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
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music |
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random playlist /shrugs |
] |
Took Emery for another walk today with his "Stalker" t-shirt and is cute little jacket. He's so fucking adorable!!!
My tongue is pierced and beautiful and sexeh ;)
Finally I'm completely off the schedule at TK's so I work exclusively at the UPS Store-- YEAYYYY
My manager is amazing and gave me the days off so I CAN pierce my tongue and he's the nicest guy in the world♥-- regardless of his comments- and admittance to said comments- of sexual context at me XD-- though meaning no harm all the same-- they are simply jokes. And no harm is caused =)
Lou spent- and is still spending- the entire day today fixing my new car, that way when the title comes in I can just TAKE it muahahah >:D
Title got sent out USPS sometime last week so it should get to my aunt's house sometime soon =D
Other than that, nothing new is going on, really. Except the nostalgia I'm having ((that I won't get into)). But it's causing me to do what could be- and more than likely WILL be-- potentially amazingly stupid and ridiculous things.
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| Updating Time!!! |
[21 Oct, 2007] |
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mood |
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passing out |
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music |
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My December - LP♥ |
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So, since Christine hates me now I think tonight was my last night at TK's. I'm not scheduled at all for next week and I won't know about the week after until Wednesday but I don't think she wants me to work anymore. So much for two week notice, eh? How about a two day notice XP 'Tis quite alright, though, I do dislike it much being there. So UPS Store only is it, then!
Started work at 830 this morning. Didn't get home from work ((UPS and TK's today)) until 12:15. I'm fucking exhausted and am about to go pass out in bed and crash for hours on end. Tomorrow I have to finish watching Heroes season one so on Monday me & Jer can watch it together. I also have to watch my Degrassi episodes, also, come to think of it o.o;; Well.. hopefully I can go out Monday. I'm making an entire tray of brownies for Ian on Monday because it's possibly his last day.. it's actually his 5th week of his 2 week notice-- he stayed while Jim & Linda went on vacation, but I think he's really done now. It's the only day of the week he's there. So brownies for Ian, YEAYYYY ^-^
I really need something to do, though, because Sundays are my only day off during the week... but I have Monday off this week. I want to spend it doing something worthwhile and fun and see people and such. So if anybody's interested, call me:: 980-2057 =) In a day or two I have to pay my phone so it'll have about 39 hours for Sunday, but Monday I might only have 5 minutes left-- depending on when I can get to the bank and when I can get online right after =)
My new used car should be actually mine in about a week or two =D
My hours are getting cut down at UPS between after Halloween and before Thanksgiving. Then they're going right back up after Thanksgiving through the beginning of January.
I'm thinking about doing something amazing this weekend when I'm with Kelly @ CCSU.
I'm not sure, though, if I even can =/ But if I can.. and if it might work out well... then I'm doing something amazing. And I won't sayyy because then I'll be getting myself excited about something that might not happen =/ But I really have to head off to bed now.
Oh, by the way::
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071020/ap_on_en_ot/books_harry_potter
Dumbledore's gay.
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| Weelllll... |
[18 Oct, 2007] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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I'm a thousand miles away, but, girl, tonight you look so pretty |
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I put my two week notice in at Tommy K's.
Working this week a bit.
24th = Blood Drive ♥
25th-29th = hiding away @ CCSU to party con Kellybelly and people
Not sure what goes on after that =)
I finally figured out one of the passwords to one of my old livejournals and I then found the passwords and usernames for all of the ones I've ever had ^-^
I've been thinking about changing my username for a while, but I haven't because I don't want another livejournal T.T I just wanted one of my old ones.. so I might start using those again =)
I'm going to get rid of some, though..
chii13 was my first one ever and it's about five entries long and I could probably delete that one
drinaz I had for 4 years and I have a shitload of amazing memories in there-- never going to get rid of that one, but I won't use it, either
chrispyoliwa is one I made for private entries ONLY but I'll probably just read through them quick and then delete it, I don't think anything is really in that one.
adrianazzy is one I made and never ever ever used.
then I have this one =3
So I'm going to go figure out what I'm gonna do with all these ^-^
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[13 Oct, 2007] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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My theme, actually o.O; |
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So, my live pretty much consists of very basic things.
Work, mainly. And that part sucks. 42 hours a week at the UPS Store is enough for me, but the extra money at Tommy K's is a nice treat ^-^ Of course, it's only about 20-50 bucks extra, sometimes a whopping 80!! But compared to my 300 a week from Jim ((my UPS manager♥)) that's nothing. Especially because Mr. Tom's payroll won't allow me as a clerk to be paid more the minimum wage and my manager Christine won't allow me to be an assistant manager. Though, this is for the best, because I can't continue working 14 hour long days of straight work 10-5 at UPS then 5-1130 or 1230. Not two to four days I week, I can't. I'm tired, and I don't do anything when I'm at home except lay around like a fat ass and enjoy the time NOT spent working. I put my two week notice in with Christine yesterday.. I think she hates me =/. That girl Jaime who was hired as a clerk, but training to be an assistant manager lasted all of about 2 days before Christine stopped giving her hours except for, like.. 4 or 5 hours a week. And that kid Billy who was hired as a clerk never showed on his first day and next I hear of him, his name's off next week's schedule. Nobody likes working for Christine, and it sucks for her. I told her I'd work as much as she needs me to for now until she finds a clerk that will actually show up to work and/or not quit a few days later. I mean, Drew and Nikki were there for 4 and 8 years and they finally quit. Nikki will be when she finds out, but when I saw Drew yesterday and told him I was planning to, he was proud ^-^ He's been waiting for me to quit since he did =P Now, I just need to wait another week or two for my car and me and him can start hanging out again on his nights off =D But I thought about it and left Christine a note last night. I figured if I can stay but work only once a week, that's an advantage for everybody. Christine needs the help- desperately. And she knows I work and she loves me... but I can't keep doing that as many long days as I have been... but one night a week for me is okay. One 14 hour day in one week and I can continue getting a teeny bit extra money and I can also continue taking advantage of free movies.
I borrowed Casshern last night, doesn't come out until tuesday so yeay for five day rental for me for freeeee!!!! Yeah, I guess Casshern got popular enough to be released this tuesday in the US. It's on Amazon, too, to be prebought. Though, we aren't ever putting it on the Sellthru rack, so I just have to buy it my own way =/ I bought Edward Scissorhands, though, and Liar Liar for our 2 for $20 deal plus 30% discount =D
Other basic things that my life consists of?
/sigh... Missing Jeremy. It hasn't even been a month yet, and this whole situation really just sucks. I just want to be with him again, and I don't care how soon it will be in the long run, I want to be selfish and I want him now. Christmas is far away and so is January/February/ whenever he gets his own place. I love him. More than anything. And God knows if you've seen me with him you know it. Whatever, though... I don't want to think about it, anymore.. I just need to go.
Helping out Jim and his coworker Sidney-- not at UPS but for Airbounce-- which Jim also works with. I guess some family down the road is having a birthday party with Airbounce for their kid and they want a cotton candy thing, but the guy doesn't want to learn how to do cotton candy himself so I'm getting paid to go down there and work for a few hours. Gonna go get ready now, I guess, I have nothing better to do.
It was freezing yesterday, and it's freezing today and I fucking love it. October and Autumn are finally here.
And Halloween is on its way ^-^ Along with college parties with Kelly and Jess and alcohol =D
And lots of drunk people swimming in puddles and masturbating on the floor =D
Yeay for awesome party stories and soon-to-be party experiences =D
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| Oh, so good |
[11 Oct, 2007] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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playradioplay♥ |
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Even more reason to not take medicine. ((The following are quotes from an article which is referring to cold, runny nose, cough syrup, etc, type medicines))
" 'Pediatricians are taught these products don't work and may not be safe. Yet almost every parent uses them,' said Dr. Joshua Sharfstein, Baltimore's health commissioner and a pediatrician "
" In multiple studies, they have 'been found not to be effective in this population at all.' "
" parents should understand that cold remedies treat only symptoms, they don't make viruses go away any faster "
" Most coughs shouldn't be suppressed — that's how the body clears the lungs, she added. Low-grade fevers are how the body fights infection. "
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| To Everybody Reading This:: Fuck Yourselves. |
[8 Oct, 2007] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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really depressing shit, obviously |
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I can't take this amount of stress and frustration. I'm annoyed beyond belief and everything just sucks.
I keep getting these amazing fucking opportunities and I keep having everything I want in my life handed to me... everything is getting figured out and everything is becoming what I want it to be from cars, to houses, to relationships/friendships, and fucking everything else in my life that's been so fucked up these past 18 years. And the moment I get something figured out and start to plan my life and do something for ME... everything just gets taken the fuck away because of one really retarded thing or another and I'm fucking SICK of it.
I just want one thing in my life to work out well or the way I want.. or at least even the way I'm TOLD things will be even if I don't agree.
And I'm sick of fucking working and I'm exhausted and I need a fucking break but if I do that everything goes to shit more so than it already is. I don't want to have to work like a fucking maniac just so in the end I can have a mediocre life. And a life that isn't what I want it to be.
Just once, I want somebody to offer help and actually do it.. or tell me that they'll try to help, but things might not work out rather than make all these promises to me of things that can be done and then not come up to my expectations ((I wouldn't expect shit if I wasn't told to)).
Just once, I want a friend who says that he/she is my friend and actually means it.
Just once I want somebody to tell me that they want to be with me... even if not forever, and just for now.. and have them actually want... to be with me...
I just don't want to be lied to anymore.. by anybody.. especially not the people I hold dearest and closest in my heart. And it sucks that those are the only people that seem to hurt me and it's always really fucking unexpected... It's pretty much not worth it right now to even try to have any relationships or friendships if all they do is make everything harder for me...
And it sucks that there isn't anything in my life that's helping me or making anything easier. And none of this.. is fucking fair to me at all... And right now.. I just want a fucking hug..
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| I'm Too Much In Love To Care... |
[1 Oct, 2007] |
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mood |
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♥♥ |
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music |
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MSI - Straight To Video |
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And that's really all it is. I can have curiosities about other people-- I'm only human. So of course I do. I can see somebody on the street and go "Hmmm...", but that's exactly what it is. A teeny thought of "What if..". Something that happens always, and it all ends there.. at that "Hmm..". There are no real curiosities or "wants" at all. I'm in love more so than I ever thought possible and it feels amazing. I know what I want for my life and now that I have it, it's enough for me. I don't care about all that other stuff-- I've had my time to experience it, to experience other people and if I've found somebody who does more for me than I've ever wanted for myself then I feel my search is over. Nobody else is worth it. Nobody else is worth finding or being with. Why would I want to be curious about being with other people if.. well, if they don't make me feel all the ways I want to feel.. if they don't have all the qualities as a person as I've wanted? If I have that right in front of me and with me, and always will.. I'm going to take advantage of that and enjoy it and put all my heart into it.
There is no emotion or happiness that is greater than the ones I feel and the love I hold only for you, My Darling, My Love. I'll be with you always♥.
There is no love greater or more amazing than ours-- Remember:: We Are The Moon.
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| Personal Letter to a Friend.... |
[22 Sep, 2007] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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a perfect circle |
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I was fine. The tears were because of the mood.. because I didn't want to let you go. I still don't. But I already have. And it wasn't until five minutes ago, playing Kingdom Hearts with the inability to sleep that it hit me. That the pain I'm feeling now, I can't just ignore it and say "I'll see Jeremy in the morning, everything will be better". I can't get a hug from the one person who makes me forget everything negative in the world just by stupid natural things.. like smiling.
And I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.
I feel like I'm already losing it-- I'm just beginning something really fucking sucky and I don't want it to last... but there's no saying when it will end... I'm guessing a week to a month. I'm hoping it just leaves by tomorrow morning. But I'm only human, not some strange creature life-form thing -.-
I will love you forever... and I can promise you that♥. And I know you know.
My heart is always yours, Jeremiah Boucher♥. The best of luck to you, sweetheart♥.
P.S. - Tell Mike I say Hi =)
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